So we have talked about what constitutes a powerful relationship. You should be able to see love for what it really is and to recognize it when it happens to you. You know what your responsibilities are and the responsibilities of your partner. You should know why we fall in love and how to keep the magic on track. But how exactly do we create a relationship that is right for us. It is more than just luck. It is more than a chance meeting in a coffee shop. You create every moment of your life and reality. You have to learn to paint a picture of your future. You need to visualize, build, and accept whatever reality you want to be a part of. You are the artist, and your life is the canvas. Let me show you how.

Have you ever woken up feeling a certain way about the day......perhaps your stressed and feeling very anxious and negative. Your having "one of those days" and your neighbor or friend wakes up and thinks to himself, "this is the best day ever." It is the same day to you both, is it not? Not exactly. Whether we realize it or not, each of us is constantly in progress of creating our reality from moment to moment. We are not truly aware of what someone else's world really looks like and they are unaware of ours. How we think of our lives, how we see ourselves in the mirror, and what we believe is happening to us at any given moment will be the reality that will come true.

You know the old saying: 'you are what you eat'. The truth is that we are what we believe we are. Great people don't believe they are great just because they are told that all the time. They believed they were great first. Before anyone else ever noticed. If they believed they were losers, they would have never stepped up to the plate and gave it their best swing. People who believe they are losers hide in the background.....never even bothering to give it their best shot. How many truly great people are only great for a moment? Typically, when they are told they are great, they begin to know it's true. They visualize themselves differently and become even greater. Society takes notice and we bestow accolades which only reaffirms the greatness that the person feels and believes. It then begins to multiply. If you believe you are a loser then society will think that of you as well.

This is an example of believing, visualizing, and creating the next moment of your reality. Which way do you want your future to go? It can be hard to believe in your greatness, especially if we were verbally abused as children. For some of us, believing we are someone very special can be uncomfortable and frightening. It can be very difficult to pull yourself up out of the dirt and believe you can do anything. But taking it slowly, you can visualize in your head a completely different person. You can do this in private.....know one ever has to know.

What makes you happy? How do you want to look? And what kind of relationship do you want to be in? Visualize yourself in each of these situations and paint the picture of your next moment. Think about these snapshots as much as you can, everyday. I know, our third grade teacher told us to stop 'daydreaming' in class, but what you may not realize is that those dreams shaped much of our future. Daydreams feel good to us.....they are comfortable and fun. But let's turn our escapism into something constructive. Let's turn those fantasies into realities. You don't have to wander off inside your head and neglect your responsibilities, but when you picture yourself, which we do dozens of times a day, think of the "you" you want to be. Choosing an image of yourself and seeing your life in a different light will begin to change your future. Your body, your world, and your attitudes toward yourself will be how you want them. Tell yourself "I'm beautiful" and visualize how you want to look. Tell yourself "I'm great" and picture yourself as great. Tell yourself "I know that I can do anything" and visualize what you want to do and what you want to be. Your reality will change accordingly. You are in control of which way your life will turn. That's the real beauty of being human. We have the power of creation.

Over time, you will begin to wholeheartedly believe it. You will see the changes in your life, your job, and your social life. You will see changes in the way you speak and feel. You will see someone different in the mirror. You know you can do anything you want and be anything you want to be. You will be the whole and complete individual that's important to a solid relationship. Of course, when you believe it's true, so will everyone else. You will be great and the world will know it. When all the pieces fit together, the beautiful landscape of your life will be there for all to see. Someone else with similar beliefs in themselves will take notice. They will be attracted to your great attitude, positive outlook, and completeness of soul. They will find you a "kindred spirit" and want to be closer. This is how you will create the relationship you need.