I have noticed something a bit odd lately and maybe you have as well. An inordinate number of new relationships seem to change gears right around the four month mark. For myself and many others, our relationships seem to reach a point of critical mass that requires some heavy decision making either for good or for bad. At that time we start to take the rose colored glasses off and ask ourselves "is this the right relationship for me?" It is a time that needed communication must take place to ensure a problematic union doesn't drag us too far down the road. The initial waves of infatuation subside and we ask ourselves these typical questions:

·Is my new partner contributing to the relationship as much as I?
· Is the time we are spending together as quality as I need?
· Do I seem to be getting along with his/her children?
· Do we see eye-to-eye on politics, religious beliefs or moral bearings?
· Am I getting the needed amount of affection to keep me satisfied?
· Is the sex still interesting, fresh and fulfilling?
· Can I deal with his/her career and the time that they spend at the office?
· Am I still attracted physically to this person?
· Have I found any secrets/hidden truths that I may have not seen in the beginning?
· And the biggie: Is this really the right mate for me at this time in my life??

Human nature dictates that asking these questions are completely normal and healthy for us to get the proper bearing about a decision so huge. Love is unlike any other kind of life decision. Sometimes we take jobs we don't like for awhile just to pay the bills. Sometimes we move to cities or neighborhoods just because we need to have a place to settle down for awhile. Sometimes we have to kiss the boss's ass to move to a position that will benefit us. Sometimes we have to show our children some "tough love' to set them straight. But we DO NOT have to be with someone that is not right for us emotionally. So what is the problem with all these questions that can make or break a new relationship? Most of the time ONLY ONE OF THE PARTNERS ARE THINKING OF THESE QUESTIONS! 

And when they are, the other partner may not even realize it. In a new relationship, it not only critical to ask yourself these questions, but to make sure you communicate fully your concerns to your new love interest. Your partner cannot read your mind even if it seems like they can. Without proper communication, you may decide to end your relationship and your lover will have no idea what happened or have the chance to correct things. If you can't express these concerns to your partner then the union is doomed for failure by your own hand. And you do not want to be the unsuspecting partner either! 

Do you want to be the one that gets "that phone call" just when you thought everything was perfect? Lying around at night wondering "what the hell happened?" Questioning our new relationship's status is healthy and natural but without COMMUNICATION it will all be meaningless