Only you know for sure, but it does take some time for you to figure this one out. In the days and months following a bad break up, it seems as if your ex is doing everything they can to ruin your life. And you are extra sensitive to all the little things that can push your buttons. After all, who knows you better than your ex? They swore an everlasting love to you, and suddenly they are your worst enemy. Nothing really hurts more than a trust betrayed. But you know deep down in your heart that you can get through this. The doors to start a new life will swing wide open.

You really have no choice than to start anew.

The time the two of you spent together will now have to be filled with activities of your choosing. Half-heartedly you will look for "something to fill the time"...to take your mind off of the pain. But these activities are the start of your new life. You have the freedom to do anything you now want to do. There will be no more asking for permission, no judgments or having to explain to anyone what you want to do or where you want to go. You can afford to take risks, find your niche in life and follow your dreams. There will be no more "That's stupid", "I don't understand why you would want to do that" or the ever popular "who's going to take care of the house?"

The biggest reason why couples fight is over money. But the biggest reason couples divorce is over one or the other partner losing their identity.

Having the freedom to do the things you want in life will be what matters most at the end of your life. Too many people say "I wish I had done (fill in the blank), but now it's too late." Couples that support and encourage each other to find activities, together and apart, will be the ones that stay together.

Your new post break up activities will be the creation of your new life.

In your attempts to find peace, you are unwittingly creating the new you. A wiser you. A more fulfilled you. A freer you! No one can ruin your life but you. Giving someone else that power is not "freedom." You are in control even if it doesn't seem like it sometimes. Whether or not you realize it, your soul is healing itself every moment. Your new life has already begun.